Receiving Effective Feedback - MAC012

I was inspired to cover this topic by a post that I saw on LinkedIn by Jackie Simon of Jackie Simon Coaching.  In that post, she listed 20 Great Questions to ask in a One-on-One meeting.  This was a good follow-up to my previous episode on how to structure your one-on-one.  One topic in that structure was focused on feedback, so this week, I'm diving in a little deeper on how to get good feedback which includes asking open ended questions.

I'm sure many of you have had a similar conversation with a leader or a trusted peer where you ask how you're doing and their response is "great" or "fine" or something similar.  There isn't anything you can do to improve from that type of feedback.  So, let's talk about some techniques you can use to gather better feedback.

Get in the right mindset.  The first key to getting good feedback is to get in the right mindset to receive feedback.  Meaningful feedback should be targeting your work or your results and not you as an individual.  So, as you solicit feedback, remember that it isn't about YOU.  This mindset will allow you to be more receptive to hearing anything potentially negative.

Ask open-ended questions.  Asking yes or no questions or questions with a simple answer will make it difficult to get real, honest feedback.  Look at the list of open-ended questions that Jackie listed in her post.  Taking inspiration from them and rewording to fit this situation, these are the ones that stand out to me:  "What have you observed about my work lately?" and "Which of my strengths should I use more often?" and "What would you like to see less of?" and "How can I support you?" and "How satisfied are you with the work that I'm doing"?

Close your mouth and open your ears.  When receiving feedback, it's important to not just hear what's being said, but actually listen to it.  Let them have their say before reacting to it.  It's ok to clarify their remarks, but limit yourself to just a few questions or statements.  Try to stick to phrases along the lines of: "Can you explain that in more detail?" and "Tell me more."  The goal is to understand not just the statements they are making but the underlying reasons that they have those remarks.

Resist the urge to be defensive.  The feedback you are hearing is the perception of the giver.  Even if their perception is incorrect, it's how the situation was perceived.  Instead of defending, reflect on why they have an incorrect view and figure out how you can act differently to ensure that they interpret things correctly in the future.  If you are explaining your actions, you aren't listening to what they are actually saying.

Take lots of notes.  There is going to be a lot said.  You can't rely on your memory to capture all of the details.  Write down all of the comments and before the session wraps, review them with the person giving feedback.

Offer thanks, not promises.  Once the feedback has been collected, thank them for their time but resist the urge to respond to any of it.  Take this feedback back to your desk and really reflect on it.  Think about what can you change about your approach.  Is there anything you can do differently to ensure that the perception of others matches your intent?  When you respond in the "heat of the moment", you likely won't have a clear action plan and your response may come across as dismissive of their feedback.

Schedule a follow-up.  After you have had time to reflect on the feedback and formulated a plan, meet back with them and review the plan.  It shows them that you value their feedback which will lead to more feedback in the future.  And by reviewing the plan, they can offer insights into whether they think those actions will be effective and possibly offer additional actions that you can consider.

We covered how to receive good, actionable feedback.  So, spend the next few days thinking about which peers and leaders you can reach out to and solicit feedback from them.  Then, go to the Managing A Career community and tell me how that went.

Are you looking for a career coach? If you reach out to me via the contact form, I will arrange an introductory session where we can talk about your career goals and how I can help. If we're a good fit, we can schedule regular coaching sessions.